Online dating as a bigger woman can be brutal. I’ve been called a “fatty” or “fat bitch” by men on Tinder, or told that men would only have sex with me as a favor, because men could never be attracted to someone my size. I’m not insecure about my appearance, but when I first got into online dating, I found myself obsessing over my weight in an entirely different way. I worried my pictures made me look thinner than I actually am, and men would call me out for “lying” about my size. On sites like OkCupid, where you have to fill out a series of questions relating to sex, dating, and personality, I’d preemptively check how a guy answered questions like “would you date someone who is overweight? I eventually got over this, and I realized I’d created problems for myself that didn’t need to exist. But I was intrigued when I heard about WooPlus , a new dating app for plus-sized men and women to date freely, without the fear of being fat-shamed. According to Michelle Li, one of the co-founders of WooPlus, the idea for the app came after viewing a viral “social experiment” video, where men reacted viciously to being set up on a Tinder date with a woman who ended up being fatter than she appeared in her photos. This same video cites a study that says women’s greatest fear in heterosexual dating is that they’ll be matched with a serial killer, and men’s greatest fear is that they’ll be matched with a woman who is fat.
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But I also start with these words to make clear to potential dates an undeniable truth: I am fat. And yes, I want you to notice my body size before you Like me. When I initially ventured onto Tinder in , my first-date jitters centered around whether or not the people I matched with knew I was fat. I fretted that matches would arrive to our date, shake my hand, and be shocked at the fat woman in front of them.
Every time I opened Tinder to find multiple new matches, I questioned why anyone was Liking a plus-pound woman. My internal narrative was always the same: Something must be wrong. My pictures must be deceiving. But as I went on more dates, I was forced to interrogate my feelings about my body time and again. As a result, I soon gained confidence in my appearance — fat body included.
Styling myself for dates with cute clothing and fierce makeup helped reframe my perspective. Like many others, I used fashion and beauty to feel like my sexiest self. And once I started feeling attractive and confident in myself, I began recognizing how potential partners could find me attractive, too.
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Whatever sites, apps, and dating strategies you put your energy into, make OKCupid’s match questions let you screen out fat-phobes without.
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Online dating for plus size people in your city has never been so much fun! If you want to find an SSBBW woman and make her your girlfriend, it makes sense to join our overweight dating site. Many big girls prefer to chat and flirt with men online rather than in dark and noisy bars and nightclubs, with Cupid established as one of the most popular dating sites for larger ladies.
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If you are a plus size or fat person, you know how difficult it is to date. Tinder is notorious for its users fat shaming , and this video shows how people react to their real-life dates being bigger than what they expected. Not great.
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